“I know you think you understand what you thought I said, but I'm not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.”

Have you ever tried to communicate something and it just didn't come out right? Or perhaps you thought it came out right but the other person took it wrong? Why is it that communication flows so smoothly with some, while with others it can be bumpy and frustrating? Of course the mood you are in, your relationship with the person (boss to subordinate, spouse, best friend), and your background, such as education or expertise in an area, will have an influence on the way you communicate--but there is something more. The way you communicate with others has a great deal to do with your basic personality.

We all have a blend of characteristics that make up our personality. These characteristics have an effect on the way we communicate. Although there are numerous systems for explaining our behaviors and the origins of our personalities, the True Colors™ communication model is one of the easiest to remember and most fun to apply. Following are some general descriptions of the communication styles of the four colors in the True Colors™ model. Read over the descriptions and determine which one is closest to your particular style.

BLUE COMMUNICATION

A Blue’s world revolves around people, relationships, and fostering growth in themselves and others. When speaking, they first focus their attention on establishing a relationship or reconnecting with the person. The information they wish to convey is woven into this relationship-building endeavor.

Friendly, Helpful, Empathetic
Optimistic
Expressive with Emotion
Fostering or Maintaining Harmony
May use metaphors to embellish points

Tips for Communicating with Blues:
Acknowledge Them
Show Appreciation
Include them
Have patience
Don’t “bark” orders

GOLD COMMUNICATION

Golds are generally respectful and responsible. They listen for details so they know what their part is. They usually size up a situation for what would be most appropriate before responding.

Purposeful, Plans Ahead
Respectful, Appropriate
Supportive of Policies and Rules
Detail Oriented, Chronological
Loyal, Devoted

Tips for Communicating with Golds:
Be Prepared, Give Details
Stay on Target, be Consistent
Show Respect
Don’t Interrupt
Recognize Their Contributions

GREEN COMMUNICATION

For the most part, Greens communicate for the purpose of gaining or sharing information. During a conversation, their attention is usually focused on the matter at hand, not on the relationship.

Logical and Objective
Includes Facts and Information
Big Picture, Conceptual
Questioning, Critiquing
Wry Sense of Humor

Tips for Communicating with Greens:
Allow Them Time to Ponder
Skip the “small talk”
Avoid Redundancy
Give Big Picture or Point first, then fill in details if asked
Don’t misinterpret their need for info as interrogation

ORANGE COMMUNICATION

Generally, Oranges want to share their opinion the minute it hits their mind. Interested in taking action and being expedient, they may skip the softeners and go straight for the “punch-line.”

Casual, Playful
Spontaneous, Now Oriented
Fast-Paced, Changes Subjects Quickly
Straightforward
Active, Involved, Mobile

Tips for Communicating with Oranges:
Use “Sound Bites”
Move with Them While They Multitask
Appreciate Their Flair
Allow Options and Flexibility
Lighten Up

Identifying your style and those of others gives you insights to help you improve communication. Instead of trying to get others to change, recognize what you can do. The next time you have an interaction with another person, notice what style is most dominant for them. Remember the suggested tips and experiment with which ones work best with each individual. Like learning to drive, it gets smoother and more automatic with practice.

Mary Miscisin is the author of Showing Our True Colors- A Fun, Easy Guide for Understanding and Appreciating Yourself and Others. She can present any of several True Colors ™ programs to your organization. For more information, send an e-mail by clicking on "E-MAIL" below, or call 612-925-4090.