If you are a busy person with a demanding job and family and friends who ask for your attention, that can be a blessing if you can handle it. If you work from your home, that can be an additional benefit because you can have some control over your schedule and integrate your work and personal life.
However, some extremely busy people feel guilty no matter what they’re doing. “When I’m spending time with friends and family, I feel guilty that I’m not getting work done, and when I work intensely, I feel guilty that I’m not paying attention to others or that I’m not taking good care of myself.” That feeling can lead to burnout—when the stress lasts so long that you cease to function.
We can prevent burnout by following the advice of experts and those who have been there themselves. The main point they make is that we benefit greatly by maintaining clear boundaries between our work lives and our personal lives.
Establish clear boundaries. When your work and personal life blend together under the guise of “multi-tasking,” then both the work and your personal life suffer. Make sure that when you’re working you are focused on your work, and when you’re done with work, you don’t bring it with you into your personal life. If your work materials are dispersed throughout nearly every room of your house, then you have no place for a real retreat. If you’re always talking on the cell phone or checking your e-mail while you’re with a friend or family member, your time with that person is not as high quality. Take time to focus exclusively on that person for a while, then you will remember that experience when you’re working and you won’t feel guilty that you have to concentrate on work. Create really high quality work and personal experiences for yourself by keeping them separate.
Designate a work area in your home. We’ve all heard that we should handle business papers only once. Deal with your e-mails the same way. To do this have everything you need to get your job done in one place. Make this your home office. Instead of checking your e-mail constantly no matter where you are or what you’re doing, wait. Go to your home office and deal with your e-mail there. If there’s anything you need to print out, refer to, or send out in the mail, you can do it upon your first viewing of the e-mail.
Be your own efficiency expert. If you work from home, you are responsible for your own efficiency and ergonomics. What would an efficiency expert say about the way you’re now working? Do you have to run around to get things, to remember where things are, or check e-mail when you can’t do anything about it? Your home office should be an efficient, ergonomic environment that makes it easy to work.
Discover your work pattern. Notice the times when you work that you’re able to concentrate with all your attention and work with high efficiency. When were those times of day? Unless it’s a time that would upset a healthy sleep pattern, make it a point to schedule those times for work. You can use the same technique to find your best biorhythm for exercise and relaxation.
Take care of your health. Even if you’re the type of person who manages a lot of stress and doesn’t feel the need to reduce it, make sure you get regular exercise to compensate for the body chemistry of stress. Eat well and avoid using coffee, sodas, alcohol, cigarettes, drugs, and other addictions to self medicate.
Make appointments with yourself. To make time for yourself to engage in healthy activities like exercise, relaxation, centering yourself, or going for a walk, plan the time ahead and put it in your calendar. If you find that you don’t have the discipline to keep the appointment with yourself, find a friend or family member you can include in the healthy activity, and make an appointment with them. It will be harder to postpone, and you’ll have the bonus of quality time with that person.
Don’t balance, juggle. The old model of balancing work and personal life is a static model. Our lives are dynamic. We will never find the perfect balance for all the dimensions of our lives because the environment is always changing. Jugglers keep a lot of balls in the air by switching their focus to the ball that is falling at any given moment. They do not keep their eyes focused on the ball they just threw. Because of the juggler’s training and experience, each time she throws a ball in the air, it goes where it is supposed to go. The juggler must quickly look for the ball that is falling, catch it, and throw it with skill once again. Ask yourself, “What is the ball that is dropping today?” What is the area of your life that needs attention?
Ask, what is important? In his book The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, Stephen Covey showed that for many of us, the day is filled with tasks that seem urgent but are not important. Those activities attract our attention, but it is possible that they may never need to be done. Weed those out, and make time for the important tasks. The important duties that are also urgent require our immediate attention. Those are the balls that are falling. Be proactive by planning ahead and also deciding what to do each day that is important but not urgent. For example, if you set up a new more efficient system for dealing with a frequently repeated task, it will repay you with more time in the future.
Make a to do list. Some say that they don’t bother making a list of things to do. They say they take the time they would have used to make that list and instead just get more things done! If that’s you, then you may find your time filled with urgent tasks whether they are important or not. It’s hard to be proactive and make sure that you get the important things done if you are not in charge of your activities, but instead find yourself responding to whatever comes across your radar screen. Take charge and make your list of things to do. Pay attention to all the dimensions of your life by making a master list of 6-12 areas of your life that are important to you. These might include your immediate job, your long-range career, other interests, health, finances, your household, family, friends, learning, and creative pursuits. Each time you make your to do list, put down something from each area of your life—even if it’s just a small action step. You’ll find after a period of time that you’ve moved forward in areas that you had been neglecting.
Get help and help others. In a recent Harris Interactive poll, 42 percent of those surveyed said that they were currently struggling with job burnout. In a CareerBuilder.com poll, 77 percent reported feeling burnout sometimes. You are not alone. There are people who can help you. Share your feelings with friends and family, and let them pick up the ball for you when you need help. In turn, make it a practice to be of service to others. Many people say that when they feel stressed out, if they go out of their way to help someone else they feel better afterward.
Give it 90 percent. Once I was teaching a yoga class and a man came in late with a business suit, shorts, a gym bag, tennis racket—and a little out of breath. He apologized for his lateness, but assured me that he was going to give the yoga course “110 percent.” I immediately thought that was about 20 percent too much. It seemed that he needed to downshift from overdrive and get into a gear that would give him more traction and control. Let yourself operate with a margin for physical, mental, and emotional health. You may even find that you work more efficiently and get more done.
Know your personality. Are you an assertive type who finds it easy to say no? Or are you the selfless type who takes on more than you can handle? Either way, when we understand our tendency, we can compensate for it in those situations where we’re not sure how to respond. If you disagree with something in a meeting, for example, and you’re not sure whether to speak up or calm yourself, try speaking up if you are the type not to, or try calming yourself if you’re the type to be assertive.
Find a way to center yourself. There are many centering techniques available to you. Many involve being quiet and still with yourself—either sitting, walking, or absorbed in a hobby. You can find one that works for you. Practice your technique even when you feel good. It will help prevent stress and burnout.
Say no without guilt. Be assertive, with humor, and without aggression. If you’re asked to take on a new project or task that you might have difficulty working into your schedule, give yourself some time before you agree to do it. Think about it on your own terms. “Sleep on it.”
Don’t neglect your interests. Winston Churchill said that a laborer benefits from physical rest and a sedentary person benefits from exercise. However, those of us who deal with people can benefit by switching to an activity that absorbs the mind and makes it difficult to think about our problems for a while. As Churchill put it, “...one cannot mend the frayed elbows of a coat by rubbing the sleeves or shoulders; but the tired parts of the mind can be rested and strengthened, not merely by rest, but by using other parts. It is not enough merely to switch off the lights which play upon the main and ordinary field of interest; a new field of interest must be illuminated.”
Try something different. For many of us, our current schedule and pattern for work and personal life is not working. Sometimes we try doing the same thing harder in an attempt to make it work. Instead, change it! Keep trying different schedules and patterns until you find a combination that reduces your stress. Don’t keep doing the exact same thing or trying to compact more of the same in less amount of time expecting a different result.
In their book Just Enough, Laura Nash and Howard Stevenson showed through in-depth interviews, hundreds of case studies, and surveys of top executives that the successful people who found the greatest satisfaction in their lives paid attention to happiness, achievement, significance, and legacy throughout their entire lives. Nash and Stevenson recommend continually seeking contentment, accomplishment, a positive impact on people you care about, and ways to help others find future success. We can do these things, and prevent burnout at the same time, by being more mindful of how we’re living moment to moment.
